Sunday, February 8, 2009

(Non) Surprises from the Grammy Awards

Surprises:

1. Boyz II Men still make albums.
2. Boyz II Men albums still get nominated. I thought they were at the "end of their road."
3. Chris Brown was arrested for beating the crap out of some woman (Rihanna?).
4. Keith Urban accompanied Al Green.
5. Carrie Underwood wears panties.
6. Paul McCartney is performing at Cochella this year.
7. Kid Rock is not wearing a wife-beater - which is relieving since he's singing a song called "Amen."
8. Robert Plant has joined Spencer in the creepy, flesh-colored beard category.
9. The set for Katie Perry's performance was awesome!
10. Kanye West was only mildly obnoxious.
11. No one can rock a polka-dot-bellied outfit like the amazingly pregnant M.I.A.
12. Choirs have always performed at the Grammys, but now they allow marching bands.
13. Apparently there's a cabinet position for the Arts now - all because the president won a grammy for his audio book.
14. How can a song/album I never heard of before win so many grammys? I don't know everything about music, but I feel like I'm pretty up to speed on what's out there.

Congratulations to Allison Krauss and Robert Plant (but mostly Allison).

Non-Surprises:

1. Jennifer Hudson won a grammy - it's the rule when a star suffers a personal tragedy.
2. Chris Brown was arrested for beating the crap out ofsome woman (Rihanna?).
3. U2 opened and was completely boring.
4. Coldplay still makes me want to fall asleep everytime they sing, despite the efforts of Kanye West and their very enthusiastic drummer.
5. Keith Urban is still hot and awesome at guitar.
6. I hate Sugarland. She has a wider mouth than Julia Roberts.
7. Jason Mraz got screwed by both Coldplay and John Mayer.
8. Taylor Swift is a better singer and performer than Miley Cyrus.
9. Katie Perry's performance was mediocre at best.
10. Morgan Freeman is the black Sean Connery - he'll always be good looking (except he could stand to lose the mini-hoop earring), and I could listen to him talk all night long.
11. I lost interest around 10:00 p.m. - with an hour and a half still to go.
12. Paul McCartney looks increasingly like my Aunt Mildred.
13. The show would have been better if they had kept it to 2.5 hours. Here's a start - just don't fill the time left open by Chris Brown and Rihanna.
14. Neil Diamond still has it.

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