Sunday, January 18, 2009

Lost in the Bro Code

Ok, I promise to stop writing blogs based solely on these two books, but they're all I'm reading right now. I really need to find a good book to read. I have no interest in reading anything I own right now - and I probably have 30 books I haven't read yet. I've been reading celebrity magazines all week. I think a trip to the book store is in order.

But for now, I'll amuse myself by first listing a couple Articles of the Bro Code, followed by the next step in my adventure in the land of Austen - two completely opposite mindsets.


If two Bros decide to catch a movie together, they may not attend a screening that begins after 4:20 p.m. Also, despite the cost savings, they shall not split a tub of popcorn, choosing instead to procure individual bags.


If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he must first ask what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before askingt if his Bro is okay.


While a Bro is not expected to know exactly how to change a tire, he is required to at least drag out the jack and stare at the flat for a while. If he needs to consult the car's ownership manual to locate the jack, he shall do so from inside the car, where he is not visible to passersby and where he can discreetly call a tow truck, after which it is recommended that he hide the jack by the side of the road so he'll have a legitimate excuse when the tow truck arrives.

Take heed.


As you recall, I'm staying at Netherfield keeping Jane company while she recovers from a cold. The next morning, my mother (the embarrassing Mrs. Bennett), and all my sisters come to call.

With a mother as dim as mine, it's a miracle I have any sense at all. Surprisingly, I get to add 10 bonus Intelligence points, and I don't have to add anything to my list of failures.

Lydia gets Mr. Bingley to promise to give a ball at Netherfield soon, and they all leave.

Later that evening, the Bingley sisters are playing and singing, and Mr. Darcy keeps staring at me while I try to figure out why, since I'm not perfect in the symmetry of my form and I am wearing unfashionably long sleeves. Out of nowhere, he comes and asks me to dance. I'm a little thrown, but I wittily decline his invitation.

The next evening, after taking a turn about the room with Miss Bingley, it is revealed that Mr. Darcy is a man without fault, and cannot be teased. He responds by assuring everyone that no one is without fault, but that he does make sure to avoid behavior that would make people tease him. He also declares that his good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.

By now Jane is getting better, and I want to leave. However, it may be better for Jane if we stay for a few more days. I am now at a crossroads. I can either:

A) Trust in her improved appearance and urge Jane to borrow Mr. Bingley's carriage immediately, and turn to page 24.

B) Suggest Jane take advantage of the restorative properties of fresh air and exercise by walking back the way you came, and urn to page 51.

C) Stay a few days longer to ensure Jane is fully recovered, and turn to page 36.

B is certainly not the best option - Jane does not love fresh air as much as me, and she is not as strong as me, even when she is perfectly healthy.

I think that I'll choose C, because I'm selfless and I'll endure almost anything for Jane - even Mr. Darcy. So, on to page 36.

I'm not sure I made the right choice, as Henry Crawford and his sister Mary (from Mansfield Park) have just made an appearance. I'll pick up with this strange occurance in the next episode. Stay tuned...

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